Ok, so I’m sitting here and I keep thinking about all the things I need to do and while I know what I will do, I don’t know if I can really do it…. >< I just confused myself.

RECAP:

So ever since high school I’ve been going to LBCC but I realized I dislike school enough to want to ditch it and go to a shorter (and maybe easier) school. So I decided to go to Downey Adult School to enter the Vocational Nursing program and possibly pass the NCLEX-LVN. THERE. My life story.

The only thing that I’m afraid of is that I’ll lose my.. drive I guess. I’m afraid that maybe I’ll lose that motivation and I’ll end up doing the same. I’m determined NOT to do that, but I need something to keep me busy and thinking about it. I already started blogging (I know.. it’s lame) so that I keep reminding myself, but I don’t feel like that’s enough. If anything I want to get started already. UGH!

I think I’m just really impatient. I mean… I know I can do it.. maybe. If I keep at it, that is. I just suck at doing long term things. Whatever. For now I’ll just eat a donut. 

So I was reading through a few journals of my high school years and I realized how much I miss writing. I also realized how much of a dork I was… >< But along with all that I got to have a really fun evening with my long time best friends. It had been a few months since I’ve seen them both together and honestly I felt a bit awkward at first, but we ended up hitting it off after. K brought her old high school journal and L had a bunch of the original ones that we all shared. I couldn’t believe that they still had them and honestly I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t remember where mines was. Which reminds me… I have to look for that.

But anyway, K ended up leaving early like always so L and I ended up going back to L’s place to get clothes for kick boxing. When we got to the park our teacher hadn’t shown up and I regretted not having the notebooks but it was still nice. He finally arrived and we pretty much sparred the whole time. At the end I started doing cartwheels so he decided we should learn how to do rolls and kicks. I pretty much got the front and back roll! Just not the front dive… As for the the kicks, I got the side kick, the push kick and (my favorite) the round house kick!

After kickboxing L and I went to go buy ice cream together. We went back to her house and ate pizza with ice cream (Jamoca with almonds and fudge ribbons!) like real fatties. Honestly it was really fun. We put on Ninja Assassin (it was soo bloody!) and read our journals, giggling about the dumb drama and juicy information. By the time I realized I was late to get home it was 11:00 and I just ran off.

Off course, when I got home I got a scolding from P and I honestly felt bad. P was angry that I came home so late and because he planned a whole romantic night with me but I didn’t go through with it. I don’t feel like it’s my fault though, because I honestly didn’t know he wanted to have a date with me. I cried a lot and I guess he saw that I was really sad and backed off a bit. I still feel bad about that but I don’t think I should keep feeling sad or even like I’m a bad gf but I don’t know… Talk about a mood killer.